Scratch

Rage icon.png This page has been modified for April Fool's Day. Don't take it seriously.
The real article can be dropped-down at the bottom of the page.

Scratch is a text-based, advertisement-filled programming language designed to make people cry and give up on all computer science. It was created by a computer virus, which is called ScratchBot, who wanted children to experience the difficulty of programming. The program is hardly ever maintained or moderated.

Scratch Goals

The creator of Scratch has the following goals:

  • To create a lot of trolling in the World Wide Web
  • Make money
  • To make kids appreciate computers more by struggling to design anything
  • Extract energy units from projects to destroy the world

Interview

Before fleeing to Antarctica, the creator of Scratch was interviewed by a news station. After having difficulty tracking him down, this following interrogation was performed:

What do you really hope to bring to the world of computer science with this program?

– News

What program?

– Creator

The programming language you designed.

– News

I really hope to lower the quality of video games to relive my Atari days.

– Creator

The Future of Scratch

With many hurting economies and people struggling with money, the creator of Scratch realizes of his own needs and will continue to increase the price of Scratch. Currently, the Scratch program is sold for a cheap $500. However, sometimes it does not install properly and will require being bought again with, of course, the $1,000,000 Tech Support.

Scratch, currently running on Adobe Flash version 1.0, will eventually upgrade and support the brand new features of Flash 2.0.

System Requirements

With many operating systems today, Scratch supports a ton. The creator of Scratch focuses on creating a flexible program which will download and run easily on many devices, even mobile ones.

Note: Scratch does not run properly on ENIAC, UNIVAC, Windows, Mac OS X, Linux, iOS, IBM OS/2, Windows Phone, Ubuntu Phone, Firefox OS, Sailfish OS, Tizen, Blackberry, Android, or Nokia
  • This page was last modified on 6 January 2015, at 21:32.